Hi Jessie,
My employers have very demanding careers, which comes with a lot of parental guilt. They have an ideal set of rules, for example the children (B2 and G4)will sleep in their own bed. However the reality is that they do not follow them. My question is do I have to enforce rules that the parents wont enforce? Is having two sets of expectations confusing for the kids?
Anonymous Nanny
Wow, what a great question. I think this is something that every nanny struggles with at one time or another. It is absolutely fine to have your own set of rules. The key is that you need to be consistent. If one day you insist that they sleep in their bed but the next day you let it slide, this will cause confusion and push back. If your nanny kid knows that sometimes you give in they will always try to get you to fold. I am personally am pretty strict. With that said we can have a lot more fun this way. For example I have a rule that my nanny kids only eat at the table. This makes clean up simple. No sticky hands touching toys, walls or furniture. No trails made of crumbs or drips. When we spend less time cleaning we can spend more time playing games and making crafts. It of course is not all sunshine and rainbows. Monday mornings are by far the worst day of the week and not just because its Monday. The kids have been off their normal schedule for days, they are over stimulated and over tired. Its hard to start over week in an week out but they usually fall back in line by the time they wake up from their afternoon nap. As the week goes on I notice that the girls seem more relaxed and generally happier all around. Which makes sense because they are not tired or over stimulated but also because they know what to expect when we are following our normal routine. My final word of advice if you ever question your nanny families expectation schedule a time to sit and chat.
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